He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
