Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Panties = found
Randomize
