Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
