She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
