11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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