you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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