"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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