Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
