Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
This is not my ceiling
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
