I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
