You're a womanizer and a bitch.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
