I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
