YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Where is the hickey?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
