I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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