I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
