My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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