He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
