Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
