I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
