I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
