Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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