Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
