Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I am naked and annoyed.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
