wat bout pragnant strippers??
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
