We named our party play list daddy issues
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
