I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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