Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
