shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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