so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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