so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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