Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
