Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I don't deserve a penis
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
