Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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