? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize
