So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
