Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
