i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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