I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
