that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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