I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
