some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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