He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
