when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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