Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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