This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
