Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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