So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
