It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Randomize
