I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
