I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
