all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
