adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
