bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
