first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
