Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
